Sigh No More
by homeland
Summary: Or, "The Redeeming Tale of Remus Lupin." Or, "What Remus Lupin's Life Would Be Like If Things Had Turned Out Slightly Differently." An indulgent retelling of the Remus Lupin story. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

"Sigh No More"

Or, "The Redeeming Tale of Remus Lupin." Or, "What Remus Lupin's Life Would Be Like If Things Had Turned Out Slightly Differently."

Chapter 1

_August 1991_

Remus Lupin stood at the edge of a long row of people, feeling rather uncomfortable. It was not just that he was the only wizard among thousands of bustling Muggles, or that his attempt at Muggle fashion was obviously a bit off the mark, but that he was waiting for someone that he had never met before in a place he had never thought he would ever step foot.

He was standing in a very crowded Muggle airport. Many flustered people shoved past him with their luggage, but he dared not find a better spot. He had been instructed specifically to wait under the bright green side that read "Baggage Claim." The only other bits of information he had were that his guest would be arriving at around 4:30 in the afternoon, and that she would be the one to come find him.

At once he realized he was eyeing every female in the vicinity, in a vain attempt to locate his charge, and so turned his eyes elsewhere, to the revolving baggage. He marveled for a moment at how the Muggles had come up with such a magical-looking device, but was soon interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing.

"Excuse me," said an old, stout woman in front of him, carrying an excessive amount of luggage.

Remus almost jumped in surprise. He did not know what to say. For some reason, he had not been expecting such a woman. For a second he wondered what kind of woman he had been expecting.

The stout woman leered up at him. He was confused for a moment, and opened up his mouth to say something, when the woman cut him off. "Would you mind getting out of the way?"

"Pardon me," he said, and let her slip past.

As he did so, he noticed that someone appeared to be looking right at him from near the turnstile. He quickly hopped under the sign again, to be sure his guest would know it was him. Sure enough, the woman gave a small smile of recognition and wheeled a humongous suitcase over to him.

"Remus?" she said hopefully. She was tall and thin, with dark hair that was presently tied into a knot at the nape of her neck.

"Yes, you must be Nina." He was grateful that she was much younger than the first woman he spoke to. But as soon as he thought it, he tried to erase that thought from his conscious. He was here as a favor to a friend, not for anything else.

As they shook hands, Remus could not shake the strange feeling that he was on a blind date.

"May I help you with your suitcase?" he offered, hoping it wasn't instilling the same feeling in his new acquaintance.

"Oh, thank you! Sorry it's so huge…I really did try to pack light."

"It's nothing," Remus smiled, though belatedly. He was very thrown by her American accent.

"And thank you for coming to receive me," she said sincerely as she took off her cardigan, revealing a simple sleeveless gray dress that fell just above her knees, her tan legs stretching out beneath. She looked exceedingly like a Muggle. She was even wearing flip-flops.

"It's no trouble, really." He led her out onto the pavement, where a gust of wind greeted them.

"Oh my God, it's cold," said Nina. She quickly wrapped her thin cardigan back on. Remus smiled, but didn't say anything. It was summer.

"So you're a friend of Hestia's?" Nina asked, following slightly behind him.

"Yes, we went to school together and we used to work together, as well." He ushered her across a crosswalk and tried to get an inconspicuous look at her face before he asked his next question: "And you're a relative of Albus Dumbledore's?"

"I believe the proper term is 'first cousin, twice removed,' on my father's side. I'm really looking forward to meeting him. You know him, right?"

"He was my headmaster at school and is something of a common name among the wizarding community."

She giggled. "I love how you use the phrase 'wizarding community.'"

Remus couldn't help but smile back at her, though he was perplexed all the same. Hestia told him that although she was arriving by Muggle transportation, Nina was, in fact, a witch. He couldn't help but go for the bait. "Is that an odd phrase to you?" he asked, still smiling.

"It is, but also a very refreshing thing to hear. I think wizarding is very, very different back in the States."

His curiosity was peaked, as was his desire to continue talking to her. Unfortunately, they had already been walking for a while, and it was time for them to take a different sort of transportation.

"May I ask you take hold of my forearm? That way we can arrive together at Hestia's."

"Sure." Her eyes twinkled, just as he would imagine a tanned American girl's would, and she gripped his arm tightly.

When they arrived on the threshold of Hestia's house, Nina detached her grip from Remus, but stayed right next to him. He opened the door and ushered her inside.

It was a sweet little cottage in which Hestia lived with her long-time boyfriend, Bernie. Neither Hestia or Bernie were home at present.

"It's a good thing Bernie knows how to use a phone," Nina muttered as they shuffled into the cozy living room. "I couldn't believe my flight was delayed for eight hours! And I guess it's a good thing they have a friend as nice as you, willing to go out of your way and everything to pick me up."

"Well, as they both work during this time, and I was available…" He was trying to find a good spot to stow her suitcase, which couldn't fit between any of the chairs or sofas. He settled with levitating the huge thing into a neat little corner.

Nina had sat down beside him and was looking at his wand. "May I ask what your wand is made of?"

He looked back at her with the same interested stare. "Interesting question," he said. "It's banyan wood with unicorn tail hair."

"Wonderful…" she said, still looking at it.

Daring to go out on a limb, because he had never before had occasion to ask this question to a grown witch, he asked, "Do you have a wand, Nina?"

"Oh," she said, sitting back into the sofa, "no. I'm planning on getting one really soon, though. It's actually one of the main reasons I'm here in England."

"Could you not get a wand in the States, then?"

She sighed. "No, not unless you could make your own. That's one of the many, many differences I was talking about."

"We have a while," Remus smiled, gesturing to the clock on the wall. "Hestia won't be home for another hour."

When her smile widened, he wondered if she was as excited as him to talk for an hour.

"Well, where do I even begin…."

He sat, enraptured by her life's story of being a witch in America. Every word that came out of her mouth made him sit on the edge of his chair, like she was lulling him towards her with the sound of her melodious voice. It was an exciting tale of adventure and secrets and a loving family that was dramatically ripped apart. He knew, even as she was speaking, that he would remember every single detail of this conversation.

Just then, the front door opened, knocking the two of them out of a reverie. The sound of a cheerful greeting issued its way toward them.

"Hello, hello!"

Remus and Nina stood up at once to see Hestia coming inside and closing the door behind her. She was quite short, and had a pleasant face that nearly always had a smile. She wore black robes that blended perfectly with her shoulder-length black hair.

"Well, ah! Hello, there, Ms. Nina! It's so good to finally meet you!"

"And you, Ms. Hestia!"

They greeted each other with a hug. Hestia came over and hugged Remus as well, giving him a glowing "thank you" for picking up her dear guest.

"And you must stay for dinner, Remus; Bernie'll be home in a bit and I'm making chops!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Remus helped Hestia prepare the dinner while they gave Nina time to set up some of her things in the guest bedroom and get some rest after traveling.

It turned out, though, that Nina was not a bit tired. She sat at the little wooden table and chatted with them as they worked.

Hestia was filling Remus in on the whole situation as Nina joined them.

"Well, Dumbledore actually wrote me a few months ago," she said, stirring some gravy, "saying he had a really great relative in the States who was interested in coming on over." She turned to Nina: "He actually says he prefers to think of you as his niece, right? Even though you're technically cousins?"

"Yeah," Nina answered, "being that he's so much older than me."

"Right. So he told me his niece was such a brilliant witch, but has been kind of trapped over the pond, you know? And of course she can't quite live with Dumbledore, him being the headmaster of a huge school and all, so he asked me if I would be interested in having a sweet little American witch come and stay with me and Bernie for a bit, until she finds her way around."

"He's the best would-be uncle I ever had."

The front door opened once again. It was Bernie this time, and he called out to them a jovial greeting.

"In the kitchen, Bern!" Hestia called.

Bernie entered the kitchen with a huge smile on his face, and went right away to give his girlfriend a kiss on the cheek. Hestia blushed. Remus knew they were a great couple, but seeing their matching smiles and comparing their inch-difference in heights made them seem even closer.

"You must be Nina!" Bernie cried, and gave Nina a warm, embracing hug. He gave Remus a solid handshake and thanked him once again for coming to their aid that afternoon.

"Was the flight okay, other than that absurd delay?" Bernie asked, seating himself across from Nina.

"Oh, it was fantastic. I love flying. I can't wait to get myself on a broomstick…it's been ages since I've been on one. Last time I was in Britain, actually."

"So you've been here before?" Remus asked, slicing potatoes with his wand. Nina nodded, but before she could comment, Hestia kindly told Remus to go sit and chat while she finished up the dinner. Remus obliged; he was well aware of his lack of cooking skills.

"How long ago was that?" he asked Nina.

"Let's see…" Nina pondered. "I was about eight, I think, so I guess almost eighteen years."

"Ah, what is that, only 26? You make me feel so old, Nina!" Hestia chuckled from the kitchen. "And I'm only thirty-one!"

"You could pass for twenty-one!" said Nina, in mock outrage.

"Hah! In your dreams!"

It was a pleasant dinner, aided by Hestia's wonderful cooking. Remus kept forgetting to be nervous that Nina might ask questions directed towards him. He was saved by the fact that Hestia and Bernie had an endless supply of questions and anecdotes for their guest. Bernie, mainly, had a handful of knowledgeable questions; he was a member of the Muggle Relations Committee at the Ministry, which is why he had a telephone, but also why he was able to know a lot of what Nina told them about the States.

"See, growing up with magic was a whole different experience for me," she began. "Here, you have 'wizarding communities,'" she looked at Remus, "and most children attend magical secondary schools, then go into careers in magic. You even have your own government."

"You didn't have any of those things?" Hestia asked incredulously.

"Not at all. Having magical abilities was more like being part of a secret, poorly-organized club, rather than a secret lifestyle, if you catch my drift. The only other witches and wizards I knew were my family. And a few friends here and there, if we were lucky to realize it about each other."

"Wow," said Hestia. "And to think, the only Muggles I know are the ones Bernie talks about from work!"

"Well, there are places in the U.S. where magical people tend to gather. Like Salem, and Portland. But I lived in Florida, so no luck there."

There was a little light that was starting to kindle within Remus. He felt giddy, but also rather childish. This was because while Nina was describing all these things to her hosts, Remus realized that she had essentially told him the same exact story, but more personally. She had told him how her parents died when she was twelve, and her and her younger brother went to live with their aunt until _she_ died when Nina was sixteen. The death of the only magical people she knew was the fire she needed to get in contact with her Uncle Albus.

"What made you stay in Florida, if there were other wizarding places?" asked Bernie, taking a sip of white wine; Nina had bought them a bottle as a thank you gift.

"I liked Florida. I only planned on going there for secondary school – I got accepted in the sixth grade to an arts school – but I made lots of friends and wound up going to college there and later getting a job."

Remus was hardly listening – he had indeed heard this just a little while ago. Instead, he relived how intimately Nina described the help from her Uncle Albus. He loved the way she described learning about magic. It was as if it were a spiritual entity that flowed through her being.

"Wow!" said Hestia again. "Amid nothing but Muggles, eh?"

Hestia's exclamation brought him back to the present, but only momentarily. He was busy remembering how beautiful her hands looked when she showed him the wandless magic she had been perfecting over the years.

"I had my brother, and like I said, a handful of magical friends. We all went to a Quidditch game in Massachusetts once."

"What kind of job did you have?" Bernie asked.

Nina smiled nostalgically. "I was a music teacher," she said. "That's what I went to school for."

Her response to Bernie's question brought Remus back to the conversation at full speed. Teaching, to Remus, was the best possible answer she could have given. The good that a teacher does for the world outweighs any other good deeds done by any profession, any noble philanthropist, anything. At least, it was that way in his humble opinion. If Remus's life was any less chaotic, he would be a teacher. It made his respect for Nina shoot up even more, if possible.

"Ah, beautiful! What was your instrument?" Bernie asked.

"Piano and voice," she answered. "But I taught a wide range of things, and I like conducting, and songwriting, too."

"Well, how great!" said Bernie. "We've got a piano in the guest bedroom. You can use it whenever you want, of course."

"Thank you, that will be nice."

Later, after the dishes had been put away, Remus knew it was time for him to leave. It was uncomfortable for him to do so, for even in the few short hours he had gotten to know Nina, he felt deeply connected to her. A sudden, unreasonable anxiety gripped him – what if he never saw her again?

However, he still left with a smile. The last thing Nina said to him before he walked out the door is what did it: "I hope we get to see each other again soon."

But as soon as the door closed behind him, his good mood faded, and the irrational anxieties began to creep in. He walked, thoughtless for a few moments, his eyes glued to the ground in front of him. His mind did nothing but buzz painfully as his breathing became rapid.

Bizarre thoughts struck him through the haze of his confused mind.

He realized he had just met someone who was going to change his life forever. He couldn't find the thoughts to explain how he knew this, he just knew. The struggle that ensued was the question: Would she change him for better or worse?

She seemed to go through life with the gratefulness and love that he had only experienced as a teenager. But Nina…Nina had the sorrow in her past that strengthened her. It was insane, he thought, but he wanted to be like her.

It occurred to him that he would never have the courage.

He let the buzzing return to his darkened mind. He did not sleep that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_September 1991_

Remus did little else but try to stop thinking about Nina. He stopped himself, multiple times, with his quill dipped in ink, paused at the top of a clean piece of parchment, all intent to write her a letter. Eventually he decided that maybe if he wrote Dumbledore, he would work out some of his frustrations towards Dumbledore's niece.

And besides, it was high time he wrote his former headmaster. Harry Potter had just started at Hogwarts a little over two weeks ago, and Remus was keen to check up on him. He confided to Dumbledore that he really wished he could one day meet Harry. He didn't say it, but Remus truly wished he could be a foster father for Harry. Dumbledore probably knew this. And they both knew the unlikelihood of it ever happening.

He also updated Dumbledore on his abysmal job situation, which was currently part-time editor at a newsletter about the care of magical creatures called _Magical Menagerie Monthly._ He also shared that he was only expecting to hold onto this job for another few months, when he would be required to miss work again due to the full moon landing on deadline week in December.

It was only as a postscript that Remus mentioned he had met Nina, and that she was very charming. As he sealed the letter, he thought that Dumbledore would probably realize Remus's affections for his niece through the simple words in that one postscript sentence.

He sighed as the owl flew out the window. His owl had only just left when another one, a gray one he recognized, appeared through the gap. He unrolled and read a dinner invitation from Hestia for that very evening. She was rather brief in the letter, saying it wasn't anything special, just to come over if he's bored or whatever, and she promised she was not trying to set him up with Nina.

Remus responded with an affirmation, his heart skipping beats as he did so, and at six o'clock that evening he walked over to Hestia's.

Hestia and Nina were busy at work in the kitchen when he arrived. As soon as Remus set eyes on her, every ounce of worry that had welled up inside of him disappeared abruptly. All he wanted to do was smile.

Hestia seemed to be catching Nina up on years of spells, everything from levitation to Vanishing, and Nina was very focused, holding her new wand tightly.

Excitedly, she picked up her wand and turned to Remus as soon as she saw him, holding it up so he could see. "Do you like it? Twelve inches, made of willow, with a unicorn hair. It's been lovely having it." She swished it in the air, making a silver streamer appear out of its tip. He thought of how appropriate a willow wand was for her, especially the way she looked as she moved gracefully about the kitchen, as if moved by a breeze.

She was wearing a floral skirt, presently covered in a striped apron, and she was barefoot. Her hair was different from before: it was long and wavy down her back, kept out of her eyes by neat little clips. She had the strange appearance that she had just been sunbathing, even though the weather had been quite overcast.

Remus joined Bernie at the table, where he was reading _The Daily Prophet_ and making comments on Hestia's teaching.

"Show her how to open jars," he said as he turned a page.

"Bernie, darling, she's already doing that," Hestia replied.

"Well, it's a useful one," he shrugged to Remus.

"How are things in the Muggle Liaison Office, Bernie?" Remus asked, trying not to turn his head to glance at Nina. It was like he could sense her presence behind him.

"Actually, we've just had ground-breaking meeting with a few other offices," Bernie said enthusiastically, folding his paper and leaning forward on the little wooden table. "Arthur Weasley up in Misuse of Muggle Artifacts has drafted a proposal, which calls for a straightforward policy on Muggle protection. Of course, all of us in Liaison were quite interested to hear about it. I mean, it's been a while since You-Know-Who has been scaring the pants off of everyone about this sort of thing, and I personally think it's about time we've gotten serious about keeping Muggles safe. There are too many wizards and witches getting away with too much."

Remus listened interestedly. "That sounds promising," he said. "And I think you're hitting on a subject that many witches and wizards are failing to comprehend: that tolerance is one thing, but genuine respect for all living creatures, magical or not, is what it's got to come to one of these days. You've heard my opinion on the subject," he concluded meaningfully. He wasn't going to elaborate any more with Nina present.

"Too true, my friend, too true."

The wizards talked shop while the witches continued a running background noise of new spells being taught and learned, until at long last, dinner was actually ready.

"Sorry I delayed dinner a bit," Nina apologized as she brought a large dish to the table. "Hestia is being very kind to show me everything I need to know."

"It's no trouble, dear!" Hestia said.

"Remus, did you know that Nina is now working at Ollivander's?" Hestia said over her wineglass.

"Well, that's fantastic, Nina," he said, bowing his head slightly towards her. "Does that mean you're interested in a future of wandmaking?"

"Oh, yes. I've only ever made a few by myself, and Ollivander's only had me make one so far, and I don't think he liked it—"

"You've made wands before? Without a wand to make them with?" Bernie asked, bewildered by the thought.

She smiled over her wineglass, and it was that smile that did it. There was something in her eyes that made him want her to smile like that again.

"Funny, but yes. You don't need a wand to make a wand. They were for my friends back in Florida; they were just testing them out for me. I thought they were okay, but none of them worked for me."

"As Ollivander says, the wand chooses the wizard," Remus said, also surveying her over his own wine glass.

"And am I glad to have one that finally chose me." As she said this, her eyes seemed to bore directly into his. His heart stopped.

Hestia got up and cleared away their empty plates. Nina insisted on helping, though it turned into another long escapade since Hestia wanted to show her even more wand tricks.

Bernie seemed to be taking advantage of the racket (that Nina was making by accidentally slamming the cabinet doors shut) by the fact that he kept his voice low when he addressed Remus: "Hestia is throwing me a birthday party here at the house Saturday after next."

"Is it supposed to be a surprise?" Remus asked, wondering why they were whispering.

"No, no, no, just didn't want her—" he jerked his head towards Nina, "—to overhear. You're obviously invited and I wanted to check and see if there were some people you might not want to run into."

Remus knew exactly what he was talking about. "I appreciate that."

Bernie nodded. Being friends, they had dealt with this kind of thing before. "We've got the normal crowd coming, you know, Algie Radner, Phyllis Downworth, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Dedalus Diggle, the Nathansons, Kurt Peters and his girlfriend Nancy (fiancée, I mean; they are engaged now, by the way), the Shaws, and the Emersons…" Bernie rattled off a dozen or so more names, all reassuring Remus that it was destined to be party in the style that Bernie and Hestia liked best: loud and boisterous. Remus was on very good terms with all the people listed; in other words, none of them were prejudiced towards him being a werewolf. He assured Bernie that he still got on very well with all of them.

"But I was wondering if you knew the Vedders, or Sturgis Podmore, or Elizabeth Friedman? You see, we were thinking about asking them to come along…"

"Hmm…" Remus contemplated the names. "I certainly remember Sturgis Podmore from a while back. It's been a while, but I would look forward to seeing him again. I don't believe I've ever met the other two."

"Well, good. Just wanted to check."

Their evening together wound down nicely as they sat and had tea and biscuits on the patio. Remus, Hestia, and Bernie had gone off on long tangents reminiscing about Hogwarts; they had been caught up telling Nina about the beloved school. She seemed to enjoy their various stories: Bernie winning the Quidditch Cup in his sixth year, Hestia accidentally turning a professor's hat into a pigeon turning an examination, and Remus, exploring the castle by night by use of his friend's invisibility cloak.

Remus couldn't help shake the feeling that for the entire evening, he and Nina seemed to be just missing each other's eye contact, or, having realized they were looking at each other, looked away after a split second. The candlelight was doing marvelous things for her sparkling eyes and glowing skin.

He said his goodbyes and thank yous and wandered off down the street, though he wasn't headed towards his flat. He needed a bit of a long walk to clear his head.

The buzzing was starting to return. He was positive that Nina was at least slightly attracted to him. No, she wasn't obvious about it. But the same phrase kept repeating itself in his head:

_There is something to be said in detecting mutual affinity._

He walked on.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_Early November 1991_

It was unfortunate that the party was just two days before the full moon. He pulled on his robes just before leaving for the party, and willed himself not to feel the dull aching of his joints that always came at about this time in the lunar cycle. He blinked a few times, and decided he was not concentrated enough to Apparate safely. And so he walked.

The weather was perfect. The sun was just setting on this unusually warm September evening, giving the sky the look of a poorly-mixed potion, with swirls of red, gold, pink, and blue. Remus smiled to himself when he realized the moon was hidden behind a very large expanse of clouds. It was always much nicer when he couldn't see it, even if he could feel it, tugging at his muscles and ligaments.

He walked to the side of Hestia's house, where he could already hear the sound of a pleasant party, and let himself in through the garden gate. The background was already full of people illuminated by purple and green candles. There was a great spread of food and drink, and a banner across the back fence that said "Happy 35th, Bernie!"

Trying not to bump into anyone, Remus edged his way through the crowd in search of the hosts. He found them all the way in the kitchen. Both Hestia and Bernie greeted him fondly, though they were in the middle of laughing hysterically at something Algie Radner, a coworker of Bernie's and a longtime friend, had just said.

"Happy birthday, Bernie," Remus said, shaking his hand.

"Glad you could make it, Remus! Algie was just telling us about a poodle they had over in Experimental Charms," Bernie guffawed, "and the mad—oh ho, oh goodness—the mad witch—"

But Bernie couldn't get any more of the story out without losing his head with laughter. Hestia was laughing, too, and a red-faced Algie started on how the witch kept going on about the poodle being her baby, but Hestia had a right mind to tell Remus, "There's food and beverages out back, if you like, Remus," and she, too, joined in the unintelligible laughter.

"Thanks, Hestia," he said, but no one heard him, so he decided to go and fix himself a plate.

"Remus Lupin!"

Remus turned to see Archibald Emerson striding over to him. Archie's wife, Emily, was chatting enthusiastically with another witch in the corner of the backyard. It was obvious that Archie was making an escape.

"How are you, Archie?" Remus asked, shaking his hand.

"Grand, just grand!"

"And Emily?"

"Doing well, doing well. I figure her and Doreen over there could go on for an age about old Gilderoy Lockhart…might as well let them at it!"

Remus smiled politely. He remembered vividly the last time he had seen Archie—it was at another one of Hestia and Bernie's big parties, just over two years ago….

Sure enough, Archie recalled just as much. "So what have you been up to? You had just gotten engaged to the charming Ms. Lucy Sparks, last time we talked." His eyebrows were raised expectantly, as if hoping to get the full disclosure as to why Lucy was not present.

"Well, things didn't quite work out between Lucy and I…" he said vaguely, choosing a meatball off of his plate.

"Too bad, old boy, too bad," Archie said, patting Remus heavily on the shoulder. However, he must not have been too concerned about it, because just then he spotted someone across the yard and felt compelled to leave Remus mid-conversation.

As he was selecting a sausage with his fork, he chanced a look up at the now-twilit sky and saw that the clouds had shifted, revealing a waxing gibbous moon. He decided to go back inside. There was no one else to talk to out in the yard, anyway.

He passed the kitchen, where Bernie and Algie were now doubled over in laughter, and he moved on into the living room. There was a smattering of people gathered in this small space. Most everyone spared him a friendly wave as he passed. A few wizards were having an inimitable political discussion, their wives were discussing one witch's pregnant belly and the subsequent raising of her child, and on the couch was Hestia with another witch, who were clearly discussing Bernie and Hestia's lack of marriage plans.

Remus heard Hestia say, "I love him and would do anything for him, and I know he feels the same about me, so what's the point in getting a certificate that proves it?"

Amid the chatter, though, was the unmistakable sound of a tinkering piano. As there was no one to talk to currently, and as he had a strong inclination as to who would be sitting at that piano, Remus decided to sidle his way into the guest room.

But he halted. Leaning against the armoire, he tried not to make apparent on his face the storm that was inside him. What would she think if he went in there? Better yet, what would he even say if he went in? He had been thinking about her, albeit, more and more despondently, nonstop since they met.

He realized, probably just in time, that he was overanalyzing. He charged in.

Surely enough, Nina Dumbledore sat at a rickety upright, her dark hair falling in cascades down her back, over pretty champagne-colored robes. She looked up when he walked in, still keeping her fingers on the keys.

"Well, hello," she smiled.

"Hello, Nina." He was smiling, too.

"I'm not normally anti-social," she said, still looking at him, "But sometimes you just get the urge to play."

She was playing a lively waltz, her fingers positively dancing over the keys.

"It's lovely," he said, barely keeping track of her hands.

"Thank you, but Chopin wrote it. Do you play, Remus?"

Before he answered, she was changing keys and meter, and there was a devilish smile on her face. She was playing the bass part to the dreaded piano duet, "Heart and Soul."

He laughed and said, "Oh, go on, then." He gestured for her to scoot over on the bench, allowing him to sit on her right side.

He, of course, had to look at the keys as he was playing them. He managed to hit a few wrong ones when he was tempted to look up at her. They both laughed, but got through the song all the way to the end. Nina clapped.

He slid up from the bench and sat on the bed. "I take it you're not interested in another cheesy duet?" she asked, her fingers noiselessly gliding over the tops of the keys.

"Sadly, that's the only one I know. I could do with hearing some more Chopin, though."

"Well, my favorites are the more melancholy ones," she said, beginning to play the opening to a beautiful polonaise in a minor key, but stopped abruptly. "But those don't go over well at parties."

"Oh, I don't think they really mind," he goaded.

"If you insist…"

She played the opening to the polonaise again, putting her whole upper body into it; she hunched over at times, getting as close to the keys as possible, and then she would straighten up, her head arched to the ceiling, as if in triumph. She was positively magnificent to watch.

But watching her was nothing in comparison to the catharsis brought on by listening. It was as if the music was tearing at his fragile seams, reaching to his core and making vulnerable what was there. But just as it was pulling him apart, it was filling him up with a peaceful longing.

When she finished, she let out a long sigh. "That one always gets me."

"It was beautiful."

She sighed again. "Well, I think I've exercised enough. How about we go get some drinks?"

"Marvelous idea," he said, following her out to the backyard. He caught Hestia staring as he and Nina walked past; no doubt she was pleasantly surprised that they were spending time together.

And once they had poured their glasses, Archie looked up to see Nina and Remus toasting a glass of champagne. Surely he would have something to talk about the next time.

"To music," Remus said.

They both poured a little more and wandered over to the patio.

Remus was about to suggest they sit down when Mary Lynn Shaw, an elderly witch, caught sight of Nina.

"Ah, you're Dumbledore's niece, then, aren't you?"

They were prompted into a discussion, in which two other witches ended up joining, about the wonder of having Dumbledore as an uncle. Remus piped in a few well-placed questions, but mainly just listened. It was nice learning a bit more about Nina's connection to Dumbledore without being nosy about it; he couldn't deny he was fascinated that they were related. Not many people knew much of Dumbledore's family.

"My grandfather was his cousin, but they didn't see too much of each other growing up, and my grandfather is dead now. My father told me all about Albus, of course, but it was when my father died that I started writing to him. I always knew he was a great wizard, but he proved it to me personally by helping me develop my wandless magical skills."

They got on the interesting subject of wandless magic, and once again, Remus felt like he had the intimate story, and Nina was only sharing with them the public details. It made him feel like they were a couple.

"He always told me: magic is a feeling. It's like an emotion, but it's also like a sense, just as much as tasting and touching are senses. He said that magic emanated from me, but was also controlled completely by my own awareness. And that if I was alert enough, I should be able to feel magic in everything, and connect it to my own, and therefore influence it."

Even if he had heard the in-depth version, it still amazing him how she spoke of magic. She was speaking about magic in a way he had never before heard, in a way that made Nina seem to have a better grasp of magic than wizards who had spent their whole lives studying it. In fact, Remus had the sneaking suspicion that she was better, wand or not, at magic than he was, even though she gave the appearance of being such a novice with a wand.

But this philosophical talk had bored the older witches. The first one leaned over, patting Nina on the arm affectionately, and said, "You, dear, are quite a bright witch. And so polite, too. Especially for an American!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Nina asked Remus under her breath. He chuckled, but felt again that nagging feeling that they were at the party together.

News was spreading that Dumbledore's niece was at the party. People came up to her in twos and threes, asking how the celebrated headmaster was doing.

Nina was polite to the guests that questioned her incessantly. To others she told hilarious stories that got people doubled-over laughing. She was one of those people you just knew you could have a good conversation with, no matter the topic.

Remus found himself making small talk with some of his older friends in the backyard, trying not to glance over at her too often.

He went to refill his champagne, and as he did this he ran into Hestia, who was looking more flushed than usually. She was having trouble pouring wine into her glass.

"Having a good time, Remus?" she asked, a little too loudly, and with a huge grin.

"Oh, yes, it's a wonderful party, Hestia."

"I see you've been beside our friend Nina for most of the evening…." She wiggled her eyebrows comically.

Remus smiled benignly at her.

Hestia suddenly burst out laughing. "Hoo, I think you can guess my ideas on the subject," she wiggled her eyebrows again, "and you know I don't like to meddle in your love life, but I think you two would make a lovely couple," she finished.

"Thank you for your input," he said. And with one last meaningful wiggle, she took off, clumsily, back into the house.

The party started winding down when Sturgis Podmore and Anthony Vedder had to drag a passed-out Bernie across the backyard and to his bed. Nina was now walking towards him, having just extracted herself from a conversation with a dejected-looking Algie Radner. She thanked Remus for the freshly poured glass of champagne, and downed it in two sips.

"Hey, I'm done with this party," Nina whispered, "do you want to go get a drink somewhere?"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

He was feeling mellow from an already ample amount of adult beverages. Who knew what "get a drink" meant? Did it mean they were going to get a drink, or did it mean a thousand other things? Though he thought about it, none of the thoughts seemed to make him concerned.

"Sure," he replied.

As they walked together to say goodbye to Hestia and to tell her to pass on their birthday wishes to Bernie, Remus contemplated for a split second what his friends would think of him leaving with Nina. But upon seeing them in the kitchen (Hestia had just fallen on the floor), he knew they were far too intoxicated to care.

As they walked down the lane, Nina asked, "So are we off to the Leaky Cauldron? Or do you know a better place?"

"Perhaps we could visit the Otter's Belly. I think you'll like it."

They chatted merrily all along the way, Nina tripping over her own feet twice, and they mainly talked about all of the characters Nina had met that evening. Remus couldn't help but ask what Algie Radner wanted with her. She reluctantly revealed that he had asked her to get a drink somewhere. This lifted Remus's spirits to a new height.

"So you decided you'd rather go to a pub with me?" he asked her.

"Well, Algie seemed okay," she said, grimacing, "but he's not really my style."

"Good. I had hoped your standards were higher."

"I have exceptionally high standards," she said loftily, but giggled after a second, and tripped yet again. He offered to carry her.

They arrived in the quaint little pub fifteen minutes later. It wasn't too crowded, especially for a Friday night, and Remus and Nina were able to find two stools next to each other at the bar.

Not sure if it was a date or not, and at this point being too drunk to care, Remus risked buying her a drink. She accepted it and thanked him, giving him the feeling that it was indeed a date.

He felt very peaceful, even among the raucous patrons, when he thought of his situation here with Nina.

"I'm not going to lie," she said, and bit her lip, "I've got a good buzz going."

Remus chuckled softly. "Same."

And though it would have been wiser to quit while they were ahead, both Nina and Remus had a few more, so that within half an hour's time, they were laughing as if it were the funniest thing in the world when Nina mentioned that she should have brought Ollivander along. They had a good go at imagining the old man within the confines of the pub, or even among people at all.

When they decided it was time to leave, Remus was quite adamant in walking her safely to her new flat. As he pointed out, neither one of them was in any state to be walking anywhere alone.

They reached Nina's door, and she insisted that he come inside and see her possessions, and sober up so that he could Apparate home.

She started leading him down the hallway. It seemed right that he should grab her hand, and so he did. She stopped in front of the kitchen counter, and pulled Remus closer to her.

He felt lightheaded….She let go of his hand and put her hands on his chest, and he automatically placed his hands on her waist. Ever so slowly, he drifted his head toward hers, so that their lips lingered mere millimeters from each other. He could feel electricity between them; he could feel her breathing and how she held tightly to collar of his robes. He kissed her so softly on the cheek.

"Sorry," he whispered so that his lips traced the kiss, but she didn't move away.

"Don't be sorry," she whispered back.

"I know…but I shouldn't…" But he didn't take his advice as he placed another kiss on her forehead. She was smiling with her eyes closed as she rested her head on his chest.

He wanted to say a lot of things right then, but his mouth was incapable of forming words, and regardless, his brain was failing to supply them. He had a general idea that what he wanted to say involved how much he liked her…how much he was attracted to her, but how high his respect was for her, as well….

He also wanted to kiss her again, but was able to get a hold of himself.

"Tea?" she whispered, and he nodded.

She extracted herself from him and boiled the water in about a second. She handed him a flower-patterned porcelain cup and ushered him to the couch.

Sitting down gingerly, she patted the spot immediately beside her, though there were ample other spaces for him to choose from.

He obliged, but was a little less graceful and managed to spill a little on his lap. They were inebriated, after all.

She laughed at him, then used a clever little spell to clean it. He was pleased that after she put her wand down, she leaned in close to him so that their legs were up against each other.

He looked out over his cup to glance at the room. He registered that there were a lot of books, which gave him a pleasant little twinge, and lots of pictures of people from back home. He was only certain they were from Florida because of the abundant amount of beach scenes, which if he looked closer would probably contain Nina in a small bikini.

It took a total of thirty seconds before they had had enough of the tea and looking around to set their cups on the coffee table. He couldn't keep his hand off of her leg. She didn't seem to mind, though, since she put her hand on top of his in order to keep it there.

And though he did nothing to change it, he said in a low voice, "We probably shouldn't be doing this after we've had so much to drink."

"I think you're wrong." She was very close to him again. "I think the drinking is what gave us the courage."

He was smiling as he put his other hand in her hair, and drew her in for an unhurried kiss on her lovely lips.

It took Remus every ounce of self-control to let go of her a few moments later so that he could say, "I had better go."

"Okay."

They helped each other off of the couch and walked hand in hand to the doorway.

"Won't you come back again sometime soon?" she asked him as they reached the door.

"Only if you want me to," he said.

"Oh, I think I would like that."

He placed one last kiss on her forehead and said, "Until then."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Nina sat cross-legged on her bed, a large volume propped open in front of her. She had been sitting this way for a while now, but her eyes had stayed fixed on one spot.

She did not particularly like living alone. The absence of other people was somehow a distraction. When you lived with someone else, you could always feel the presence of a person in the house, and any little noise was easily explained as a predictable thing, such as taking out the trash or blowing one's nose.

With no one else in her apartment, Nina's brain reached out around the place, searching for someone to be there. These days she went so far as to search for the sound of an approaching owl. She had taken to talking to herself to prevent these odd habits.

She scoffed at herself when she realized that again she was again staring out the window, waiting for an owl. "Don't be stupid, just read your wonderful book," she said out loud.

Adjusting herself slightly, she looked back down at the book. It was a wonderful book, no doubt, but she knew it was useless trying to get anything out of it.

It had been two weeks since Bernie's birthday party. A very long, drawn-out two weeks.

"Damn it, fine."

She slammed the book with unnecessary force, furiously pulled out a piece of parchment, and dipped her quill into some ink.

Her writing was just as furious. At least, at first. She calmed down after puncturing a hole when she dotted the second "i." Sipping her tea, she proofread the letter. It made her feel better just looking at it.

_Dear Josh,_

_I hope your stupid self is doing marvelously in Singapore. I'm calling you stupid because it really is stupid that I can't see you for another month. Sorry. I guess you're not stupid. The rules of being in the Peace Corps are stupid. I just used the word "stupid" five times. Or six, if you count the quotations._

_Anyway. That was a negative opening. I just wish I could see you! You know? And actually talk to you! Because there is so much to tell. _

_You might be wondering why this is being delivered to you on parchment paper, by an _owl_, and yeah, I would wonder, too. But no joke – this is how they do it here in the UK! I mean, people like us are absolutely rampant. They refer to non-magical people as "Muggles." It's so cute. _

_Side note: have you done any drugs? I met someone a while back who told me she was on ecstasy, like, the entire time she was in the Corps. I won't judge you (duh), but as your sister I feel like I have the right to know. _

_Also: have you been with any hot (or not-so-hot) chicks? Last one I heard about was that slutty girl Chelsea you told me about. I'm just saying, don't get any STDs. Actually, it would be really nice if you actually settled down again. I mean, at least attempted. _

_Well I know you're so interested to hear about my love life. I haven't been with any hot dudes (not since that crazy guy Todd I told you about – the one a few weeks before I left for London). But there is a supremely hot dude – wait, no, he's a man – that I've been pining for. _

_This is going to sound insane, but I think I actually really like him. Like-like him. He's older (five years), handsome, smart, and FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, genuine*. And I think he like-likes me, too. _

_See, this is why I need you here. I need to bounce my ideas off of you, and hear your ridiculous, though much-appreciated, input. Because right now I feel so conflicted. I want to throw myself at him, but I don't. And I want to scream at him: "I'm so jaded, you don't even know what you're dealing with!" but I don't. I'm cool as a cucumber. _

_But, ah, here's where the asterisk comes in from above._

_* FROM WHAT I CAN TELL, genuine: I really do think Remus (that's his name) is the real deal. However! my spidey senses are tingling a little. I get the feeling that he's hiding something immense from me. Here are my guesses (you're going to freak out): 1. He's married, or 2. He's a werewolf. Told you you'd freak! You're probably hitting yourself on the head, yelling at this letter, "Then why the FUCK are you in love with him, you idiot sister!" _

_If he's married, then obviously I'm going to flush him down the toilet. Maybe even literally. But if he's a werewolf…well, that opens up a different can of worms. But worms I'm willing to eat. Or something. That sounded gross._

_No, but really, I've been researching the werewolf thing. There's a potion that makes werewolves completely harmless during the full moon. It's a really tough potion, but I pretty much rock at potions, so that's cool. The only other issue is that werewolves have this huge stigma against them, held obviously, by the stupidest people in the world. Seriously. If Remus is a werewolf (and I think he is), he is still the kindest, smartest person I've ever met. _

_Anyway, this letter is already as big as a phone book, and I don't want to take up any more of your time that could be used saving the world, or taking ecstasy, or getting it on with hot chicks. I really want for you to come see my beautiful new living arrangement in this brand new world called England. Except the weather is shit right now. Next spring? _

_Ta soeur,_

_Nina_

_PS: I can still come visit you for Christmas, right?_

Josh was probably the only person in the world who understood Nina. He was two years younger than her, and this was the first time in their lives (since he was born) that they were more than just a few miles away from each other. She could literally say anything, or in some cases, _not_ say anything, and he would know exactly what she meant. It wasn't just that they had an amazing ability to read people, but they had been through all the same bullshit that was the last fifteen or so years.

As Nina sat gazing out the window, watching her owl (named Margaret Thatcher) fly into the clouds, Remus's visage floated into her mind's eye. She let it linger there for a moment, indulging herself in thoughts akin to, "It would be really nice if we randomly ran into each other while walking down the street," and "I bet he's read a ton of great books," and lastly, "He's the best kisser I've been with in a _long_ time. And if he's that good of a kisser, he must be good in bed."

Motionless, eyes glazed over, she continued to ponder. _What if I just sent him a little tiny, itty-bitty letter? _But no, no, no. If Nina had one regret in her life, it was being in a relationship in which the affections were not equal.

In this situation, being the first one to send a letter would be like admitting that she liked him more. There was no way in hell that she would let that happen again.

She sighed heavily and collapsed onto her heap of pillows. This was another problem of living alone: now she was trapped inside of her own head and had no reason, no other person to coax her to get out of it. Dimly, she was aware that she could lay like that forever, staring at the ceiling. But she was really still thinking about Remus.

It would be admitting defeat if she made the first move. In fact, she had already broken her golden rule when she asked him to get a drink after Bernie's party. Now he _definitely_ had to be the one to act.

Sitting up abruptly, she began talking to herself again:

"So! If he doesn't make a move, then he either doesn't like me, or he's too womanly to be with, anyway."

But she crashed backwards onto the pillows and frowned. Her conclusion wasn't true, and she knew it. She knew there was obviously a lot more to it. But what? Was he really a werewolf? Or was he involved in a relationship that Bernie and Hestia neglected to mention?

Did it matter, though? All she knew was that the longer she sat there thinking, following those familiar spirals, the more her heart fell into desolation.

"I thought I was done with this!" she yelled to no one.


End file.
